♥ Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Feeling low..
as i was listening to sun's song,"hai shi hui xiang ta".recalls me of someone msging me tat wanna be with someone in church.but that person is with a vow,and cgl approves it,becos of god eventually wans them to be happy.i've been on vow for such a long time,why there's never approval of this relationship?isn't it biblical that one should keep thier vows?whywhywhy..a yr has past;much struggling between us,..i gave up on it eventually.issit tat i cant see blessings?or i cant see the future between us?or issit destined that we cant be tgt?this makes me very puzzled.well,since i already given up on it,i shall not think of it anymore..why in the first place did i make this vow?SO SO SO stupid of me,foolish gal.not regretting anything.problems began between us,i dunno why nobody is by my side,listening to me,why issit so diff to find a listening ear?not even him.it seems tat its all my fault.am i having mood swings?as tears roll down my cheeks,im really at a loss.who would really understand me,things have changed.i tried telling him abt things,but,he just could not understand,easily mixed,easily pissed.i really dunno how to say it out.u just need a listening ear who's willing to listen to my probs.i dunno who could i turn to.really really..i cant turn to others,only to him,but if he really dun understand,there's nothing i could do.people says tat im not sticking to him,im still trying my best, my very best.i could break down any time.help.~
Blogged @ 12:15:00 am
♥ Thursday, August 24, 2006
probs solved??
stress up these few days,perhaps im really emotional tired le..well,though its very stressed up by mother and my church,but i'm happy being with him..i know tat he's also very stress,i wanna let him know that,i love him..being persecuted by my mother,'TMD!!BU YAO PAO"..really very xin ku him lei,never been scolded by mother like tat then kena from my mother..poor shortberry.he really give in alot to me,despite not being a christian,he still allows me to go to church..today he first time jus leave like tat,without me knowing,i was thinking 'where is he?'..not even having the appetite to eat our dinner at all..very stress tat my mother given us all these stress..hai..although stress,im really happy being with him,justlooking at him alone makes me smile..missin him everyday of my life..i know we can pull through together de.dont ever let me go,imfallin more and more in love with u as each day passes by..hai,to be honest,im already backsliding le,not lying at all.not giving any excuses to them.well,not because of him,but me myself,i felt tat i spent too much time on church but neglecting my studies,well..i know its my mum who told them to pull me to church to watch over me..i dunno why but i think tat it causes stress to me...why did mummy wans me to go to church?when she knows tat my heart is no longer there or towards god,well,perhaps my heart has already hardened towards god le ba..i still believe god is real and gd all the time.perhaps rebellious period?nope i dun tink so,maybe i need my own time ,own freedom..becos of church alone,i negelected too many things in my life.perhaps im too committed to church le.where studies hasno longer being a major component in my life.cy,zm and short went to my house just now..talking and talking and talking..i hope tat my mother would not be overeacting and be hostile to him.despite all these things going on,i still love him as mush as ever!!!i love u dardar!!=)
Blogged @ 1:18:00 am
♥ Wednesday, August 16, 2006
loves.
loves my pea brain.15th aug,a special day to me..though not even a week,i know,we're gonna stay together and be for one another during hard times.i gonna hold tight,never letting of ur hands..many ppl were shock,astonished.i know,i'm not gd enough,perhaps a burden?i not sure,but i gonna put my confidence in this relationship,believing in him..many things are to be sacrificed,i know wat is to be sacrificed,wat is not to be..i love my boy, i love my pea brain*(=p),i love my short.does it really matters whether is he a christian?does it matters?nno.i know i gonna get stressed up but having the support from him is essential for me..i'm glad that he understands me,knows me,loving me.no matter wat,we gonna be strong,pulling through together,not giving up.i gonna be strong for our relationship.i love u boy,u're mine.muackz.=p
Blogged @ 11:55:00 pm
♥ Saturday, August 12, 2006
just had my eng paper today,super super shag,mr rosk is torturous..my whole body aching now,muscle strain..zzzz -.-..today i'm like walking around with a sleepy mind,could slp any time when ever i had a chance to,so so tired..still have tuition,got lectured.zzz...and i'm so glad that tml is a sat!!praise him!hahs.i dun need to wake up at 6am,bathe and rush to sch..hahs..hahs,know wat,i was actually quite disgusting with wat boo had said to delia and me just now..zzz...'u all must'nt leave me,because i love you all!'..this sentence made me goosebumps whenever i think of him talking this way.it just dun feel right..hmm..he said this out of his pure heart of needing us or need us to do all the sai kang for him?i truely dun understand,but but i'm not gonna do it..at least if he woukld say a 'thank you' or appreciating us,i might help him to do sai kang,but instead thanking us,he blamed us for everything.since it's like this,why dun he ask his SAC ppl to take over the cc committee's job?i cant understand why ppl still wanna be the scapegoat.now that JJ had step down,i'm no longer interested in cc anymore,but i would go for practices,but not in commttee..why why why..hanyun knew the stress of being the chairman,but haismif she wants,so let it be lo.we can only support her,hope this position would not affect her studies..
Blogged @ 1:11:00 am
♥ Thursday, August 10, 2006
BOATS AND SHIPSas i was thinking thinking and thinking.......i cant help but feeling down..thinking of tat someone again....wonderful things we did,precious friendship.this ship has long ago capsize..is there any save the ship?tried mending it,caring it,but it ends up hurting myself..i'm tired,really tired.so fatigue.this ship,have i took it for granted?did i abandoned it?are friendships for true?or just come and go in our life?wat did i to my precious ship?which is the berg tat causes is to ram into it and capsize....this hole in this ship,even if i'm manage to mend it,it'll still be a scar there,which i wouldn't put my 100% percent trust in it anymore incase of any shipwrecks again..
Blogged @ 11:10:00 pm
♥
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!
HAPPY 41st BITHDAY SINGAPORE!!! wa~~...BTH,my blog really cmi ttm...hahs..i'm so lag in this blog..lols..i just finish jamming when short just went to sleep..hahs..wa~~..must recall today's schedule..went to bedok to meet yk & short to meet cy at city hall..and know wat,short doesn't know where and wat is mph(pengz)..then we went to marina square to slack,walk walk and walk..and tat two gals still haven reach yet.hahas..6 plus liao.ndp already started,short so so so hungry till he sianded..hahahs,seldom see him sian de,so when u see him sian,he must be really sian.after half hour's discussion,we finally decided to go east coast lagoon to eat.lols..on the mrt,we saw the fireworks and we high till the whole mrt can hear us..it was such a coincidence,of cos,our first reaction was to get off the train and watch the fireworks,little did we know the moment we get off the train,the fireworks stop.zzzzzzzz..sian half.then we got on the next train.,and the fireworks started again...pek cek pek cek..hahas..then went to est coast park,short chiong into the lagoon..hahahahas...started eating and..went off at 10.30..there was no underpass there and we had to walk walk and walk to find the nearest underpass at bayshore.we walk michelle to her house and walk to cy house to meet yk,in the end walking me home..hahas..so tiring,we walked like 3 or 4 hrs non stop,leg gonna break le..special thanks to short,cy and yk for sending us home..hehe..go home kena mother nag..hahahs..and short still go home jam with me..hahs..i finally lvl 7 le..wahahahs...
Blogged @ 4:51:00 am
